Its always darkest before the dawn.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
11:10 PM
I didn't want to blog about this situation until I knew I was ready. And I'm ready. This whole time I've just been afraid. Afraid that without you, I wouldn't be able to live or something. How stupid of me, right? Because I can live without you. And honestly, I'm so sad because I feel like I'm throwing away one of the best friendships I've ever had in my life. But things just change. People change. And I don't want to admit it to myself yet, but I knew all along. I knew what you were doing to me wasn't right. But I still took it. I made excuses for you, telling myself that I deserved what you were doing to me because I wasn't a good friend... But I was an absolutely amazing friend to you. And you just took advantage of that. And thats not my fault, thats yours. And I know that now. I've been mad for a long time and I just realized... What am I even mad at? I'm wasting so much energy being mad at you when I could be using that energy on something more positive, something that'll benefit me. And even after I forgave you, you decided you didn't care about me enough to tell me the truth. You didn't even have the decency to be honest with me. Truthfully, I wasn't mad at you at all. I was just disappointed. I don't need that kind of bullshit in my life. Sometimes you just have to move on... Even if you don't want to. And thats what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna move on. And who knows, maybe one day we'll be able to be friends again. When things are different or when you finally realize everything you've done wrong and sincerely apologize to everyone that deserves an apology. But until then, all I have to say is, have a good life. Because I know I'll have one.
Regrets collect like old friendsHere to relive your darkest momentsI can see no way, I can see no wayAnd all of the ghouls come out to playAnd every demon wants his pound of fleshBut I like to keep some things to myselfI like to keep my issues drawnIt's always darkest before the dawn
And I've been fool and I've been blindI can never leave the past behindI can see no way, I can see no wayI'm always dragging that horse aroundAll of his questions, such a mournful soundTonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground'Cause I like to keep my issues drawnIt's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it outShake it out, shake it out, oh whoaShake it out, shake it outShake it out, shake it out, oh whoaAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh whoa
And I am done with my graceless heartSo tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart'Cause I like to keep my issues drawnIt's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it outShake it out, shake it out, oh whoaShake it out, shake it outShake it out, shake it out, oh whoaAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him out, oh whoa
And it's hard to dance with the devil on your backAnd given half the chance, would I take any of it backIt's a fine romance but it's left me so undoneIt's always darkest before the dawn
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don'tSo here's to drinks in the dark, at the end of my ropeAnd I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hopeIt's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat'Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in meLooking for heaven, for the devil in meBut what the hell, I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah
Shake it out, shake it outShake it out, shake it out, oh whoaShake it out, shake it outShake it out, shake it out, oh whoaAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh whoa
Shake it out, shake it outShake it out, shake it out, oh whoaShake it out, shake it outShake it out, shake it out, oh whoaAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh whoa
Hashtag.
Monday, April 23, 2012
12:57 AM
You know, after today, I just sat down and thought about your gift. And I just started writing all the stuff that I could possibly get you. This actually isn't as hard as I thought it'd be. I guess I know you a lot more than I give myself credit for.
if you know what i mean.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
11:09 PM
- this weekend was great. it went by so fast though.
- cultural night was so amazing. the best part was honestly seeing all our friends being a part of it. i hope next year i can be a part of it even more and be able to do things with stand that i don't have the power to do now.
- ayras birthday dinner tho~~~ i missed hanging out with ayra. he's a funny guy. and candace finally got to try different kinds of food. its was great. and the party after. so bomb. i was really sad that that guy from the movie had to cut his hand off. pobre him.
- i love my family.
- honestly, you did nothing.
- you are really annoying. and you only wanna talk to me when you need something.
- you're so oblivious to everything going on around you. get it together.
- i need to go to home depot.
- happy easter everyone. :)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
9:43 PM
i wish i were smarter so i wouldn't have to always bug you with my stupid questions. sometimes i just feel so useless and fyi, when you yell at me, it makes me feel even worse.